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Purpose and a Sense of Self Makes Us Happy

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The scriptures are full of examples of people being cheerful because they understood their purpose. There is a beautiful story in the Book of Mormon about a group of people who are in poverty by material standards, but great in heart. This group of outcasts and refugees gather at the waters of Mormon to be baptized by Alma, who asks them first if they are willing to bear one another’s burdens, to mourn with those that mourn, and to stand as witnesses of God, even until death. The scripture says the people “clapped their hands for joy, and exclaimed: ‘This is the desire of our hearts’” (Mosiah 18:11).  A friend of mine once said of this scripture, “Those people were pretty psyched to commit to a lot of inconvenient stuff.” It’s true. But they wanted to become disciples of Christ—to be like him and to do what he would do.

Andy Wimmer, a Catholic volunteer at the Home for the Dying in Calcutta, India, says of his work, “We pick people up from garbage piles or from railway station platforms and Mosaic with word Peacethen we admit them to the home. Then with basic medical care, we try to save their lives. But the most important thing is to show them that they are loved by God. That they are not forgotten. That their life is precious. That someone cares. So we do everything by hand. There is a tremendous sweetness in taking someone’s burden up a little bit. Just to lift this little bent body and to lift his burden a little bit and to help him to carry it. . . . My life is like a loan given from God, and I will give this loan back, but with interest” (The Happy Movie).

Esther, the great Jewish queen from the Old Testament, at first hid her religious identity from the king for her own safety. But she is one of the most inspiring examples we have of a woman who faced a terrifying task with faith and creativity. When the lives of Esther’s people were threatened, and she was in a position to try to save them, her uncle encouraged her with these words, “Who knoweth whether thou are come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Perhaps she knew that God had put her in this exact place, at this exact time to do this one thing. Emboldened with a sense of purpose, she crafted an elaborate strategy to save her people, and she went forward with resolve, saying, “If I perish, I perish” (Esther 4:14-16).

I think we often find ourselves in tricky situations that are jarring to our spirits because they require us to balance competing values about protecting our sense of self and giving of ourselves to others. This balancing act is perhaps most precarious in family relationships. I love a story that Susan Bednar tells about when her husband (now Elder Bednar) was called to be in the stake presidency when they were young and had three small children. We all have found ourselves in a supporting role that was pretty thankless, and potentially isolating.  Sister Bednar admits that she struggled. She says, “I did support him, though not always enthusiastically. I just found myself viewing my support of him as an extreme sacrifice on my part. I focused on all the things that I was having to give up. . . . I was enduring, but not cheerfully. I finally decided that some changes needed to be made, that I needed a change of both mind and heart. As I pleaded with the Lord, as I studied, as I pondered, as I prayed, gradually I came to know and understand the difference between sacrifice and consecration. Sacrifice . . . is what we give up to build the kingdom of God. Consecration is what we give” (Kristen Smith Dayley, For All the Saints: Lessons Learned in Building the Kingdom, Cedar Fort, Inc., 2012).

Let’s pause on a few points in her story. First, this was not just a simple change in attitude. Sister Bednar didn’t just put her happy face on. She acknowledged her struggle and she took it to the Lord. She studied, she pondered, she prayed, and gradually she received her own poignant revelation, and change of heart.

To feel like you are giving something, rather than giving up something, is incredibly empowering.

Editor’s Note: This is a post in an ongoing series on how to flourish. Posts are published on Tuesdays.


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